Self Caring, Not Self Numbing
Ours is a culture that often confuses self-numbing with self-care. Scrolling social media for hours, comfort eating, excessive alcohol consumption, overspending, or “numbing out” in front of a screen can all feel good in the moment.
I am definitely guilty of this. I’ve become very self aware lately of how many levels I have cleared on Candy Crush. Not an accomplishment to be proud of.
Choices like these can offer a brief relief along with a quick hit of dopamine, the “feel good” chemical connected with pleasure or reward. However, taken to excess, habits like these can deplete you, drain your energy, and even disrupt your hormones over time.
This is where the distinction becomes crucial: Self-care nourishes. Self-soothing numbs.
So, what is self-care?
Self-care is the practice of choosing behaviors that support your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It shouldn’t be seen as a chore. And it is not selfish to take the time to do so. It’s about doing what helps you regulate your system, replenish your energy, and feel more like yourself.
Most importantly, self-care is bio-individual. What feels nourishing to one person might feel draining to someone else. There’s no perfect self-care routine. What matters is whether the practice leaves you feeling more grounded, not numbed or tuned out.
Many “comfort behaviors” seem like self-care—emotional eating to soften stress, staying up late for “me time,” using coffee to push through fatigue, wine to unwind, binge-watching to escape, or over-exercising to feel in control. These are human responses to depletion or overstimulation, but they often disrupt sleep, spike blood sugar, dysregulate cortisol, and stress the nervous system, quietly undermining foundational health.
So, how do you know if a habit is numbing and not nurturing?
You feel worse afterward. True care leaves you clearer and steadier; numbing leaves you drained, disconnected, or guilty.
It’s hard to stop once you’ve started. Care is intentional. Numbing is compulsive.
It disconnects you from your body. Care grounds you; numbing pulls you out of yourself.
It’s motivated by escape, not connection. Ask: Am I doing this to feel more like myself—or to avoid feeling at all?
A Self-Care Toolbox
Here are a few self-care ideas to get you started. Remember, self-care is bio-individual and can fall into physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual categories. Start by experimenting with a few in each category and find what works best for you.
Physical Self-Care
Hydration • sunlight (especially first thing in the a.m.) • earlier bedtime • stretching • nourishing meals • gentle movement • massage • mindful, slow eating • warm baths (try adding essential oils)
Mental Self-Care
Puzzles • reading • organization • affirmations • limited screen time • creativity • new hobbies
Emotional Self-Care
Journaling • talking with a friend • crying/releasing emotion • inner child play • mirror work • genuine connection
Spiritual Self-Care
Nature walks • meditation • gratitude • prayer or mantra • community connections • silence • self-reflection
Remember, self-care isn’t always the thing that feels good right now. It’s what feels good afterward.
Going to bed instead of scrolling
Making a nourishing meal instead of grabbing sugar
Drinking water, maybe even fruit-infused, instead of another coffee
Saying no instead of people-pleasing
Taking a walk after dinner instead of collapsing on the couch
Sitting with discomfort instead of escaping it
Comfort is easy. Self care is intentional. Pause long enough to notice the difference and you reclaim your energy, your clarity, and your health.
